Responsible Strategy

(While the following article is primarily about self-defense for children, the ideas are useful for everyone.)

While I was assisting Sensei Christian in a recent Saturday morning children's class at the London Centre Y, Sensei talked to the students about responsibilities of the karateka; responsibilities to self, and to others.

Inevitably, questions of self defence came up. One such question was "What do I do when someone older and bigger picks on me at school or on the way home?" Excellent question! The discussion included keeping your distance, making lots of noise, trying to get help, trying to talk your way out of trouble, defending yourself and if you have to fight back, using only the force you need to get out of the situation.

This strategy could be described as, "Talk, Walk, Block". Sounds simple, but it may be tougher than you think.

Talk: Try to talk the bully out of fighting, i.e., "What's in it for you?" or "You don't really want to do this!"

Also talk to parents, teachers, principal, Police (if necessary) and tell them who's bothering you, what they are doing to you, where and when it happened. It's very important to tell people who can help. They may already know that the person bothering you has caused a problem before, and may be able to stop the person from doing it again to anyone.

Walk: Quickly get as far away from the "bully" as you can. Find a "helper - stranger", a trusted adult in a public place, go to a Block Parent's front porch, Firefighters at a fire hall or at their truck, Police on patrol, staff at school, city bus drivers, or security guards at a mall or gathering place. Tell them you need help, and what the problem is.

Block: Defend yourself as the last resort. The best block is MOVE! Get out of the way, walk away, run away.

With "responsibility to self" in mind, you need to know that both sharing your problems with caregivers, family, and friends, and walking away from potential conflict are perfectly all right. It's OK to tell on someone who's trying to hurt you. It's also OK to run away and avoid a fight. These acts take more courage than retaliation, or seeking revenge against a rival.

If forced into a bad situation, your "first action is no action" against your foe. This makes him take the initial move. If he is aggressive toward you, you need to react quickly and calmly, get out of the way, or physically block any attack. Walking, or running away is absolutely okay. Why stay and fight, if you have the opportunity to leave? After all, someone is going to get hurt if you do stay.

If trapped into actually exercising your right to defend yourself, you have the responsibility to others to use your martial arts training and skills with only enough force to control the situation, and your attacker. Martial Arts teach us respect and compassion. We show this when bowing to acknowledge each other, and when remembering our predecessors. We also show respect and compassion to our fellow man by using only reasonable force in self-defense, not by unduly injuring our opponent, but by taking and contenttaining control.

Talk, Walk, Block; a responsible plan for difficult situations.

By Dave Beecroft , 5th kyu, Seishin Dojo, London Centre Y

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